Now that pornography is only a click away, more and more people are meeting up with their fantasies each night, releasing themselves of their pent up energy. It’s totally acceptable whether you are single or in relationship, man or woman. There’s nothing wrong with self pleasure, but unfortunately, pornography is a long story of woundedness.
In March this year, I wrote “If you have a compulsion to masturbate, you might like to look at what is driving you. Know that you are emptying yourself, when in actual fact you are seeking to be filled.” on my facebook page Soul Sex, and out of the woodwork came the compulsive masturbators, vehemently defending themselves in response to this posting, Some were outraged that I could say such a thing, including accusations that I was being a fundamentalist preacher. So I added, “ It can become an addiction, often associated with abuse in childhood. If you are releasing rather than self loving than it’s not particularly healthy.”
“This post is not about shame nor guilt, it asks you to look at what drives compulsive masturbation,” I added as the responses kept pouring in. “Hey, I am not saying that masturbation is evil. It has it’s role, but a large growing number of people in or out of relationship are masturbating to pornography on a daily basis. It is epidemic and it is becoming an addiction. If you are self pleasuring for whatever reason, make sure you are truly present with yourself.”
“Oh so now you already said that masturbation on DAILY BASES is somehow sick? What moralizing crap is this? Am I on Catholic Hypocrites page or what…? ,” retorted one woman.
“I think the key word is compulsion. Compulsion implies loss of choice. If it isn’t compulsive masturbation then I would not see a problem with it, any more than i would drinking, drugging etc. But since this is talking about a compulsion, which is typically preceded by obsessions, the post is correct. Abstinence from compulsive behavior brings about the ability to choose,” explained another reader.
”From a male perspective, I know how much damage it’s caused me psychologically…and as such, am not a big fan of M, lol. I honestly feel that one aspect of leaning towards M for sexual gratification actually drives you further and further away from having and establishing fulfilling and meaningful (sexual) relationships.”
“The author merely states to contemplate and ask yourself do I want more? Is this enough for me? Which requires deeper introspection. It’s far from a personal attack or religious dogma however most took it personally. “
One reader, summed it up beautifully, “Ha! Its funny cos when we go into defensiveness and take it really personally, and over identify with it, points to me that we are in denial of some aspect of the truth… our own truth. Hmm…”